Juxstaposition

I'm tired but I'm good.  I'm lonely but I'm not alone.  I'm broken but don't need fixing.  I'm brave but I feel small.  I'm a woman of complexity made simple by her unswerving love for God.

I've been broken down and now am rebuilding, brick by beautiful brick.   Woman #2 is part woman #1 but with a righteous twist!  

It's hard to describe myself when I know that I'm always being watched, evaluated, looked at.   It's hard to trust anyone these days.    

When I'm with my children, I'm truly happy.  Time stands still in a way and we are just a small, happy family with no dad figure.  I'll just have to rely on God to fill the void, if any, is felt in my children's lives. 

Living each day is a choice, a choice of bravery.  I choose to live.  I choose to work, to provide for my family and for myself in a way that God sees fit.   I choose to march on even though there are those watching to see if I fail.  (keep on looking 'cuz I'm going to make it just fine!).

My relationship with God has never been more real, more intense and more full of passion.  I feel happy sometimes.  I know it's amazing.