Jaded

Spending a couple of minutes on the phone with my kids simply isn't enough.  I miss them profoundly  and with all of my heart.  It is going on almost a year that I've been without them by my side every day.  Instead we've had to just enjoy every second we do have together until it can be different.

I pray, I hope, I prepare for the end of this marriage and of a potential change of custody.  I pray that God will work within the judge to see the true situation ; to see why I should have them and be their primary caregiver.  

I just want to be with them.  

I feel like it's one thing to be divorced or get divorced and that is one matter.  It's quite another to have your parenting rights practically taken away for the course of a year.  I miss them so much I cannot stand it.  We have such great times together....but then I have to drop them off and every time I relive the horror of my situation every time.  Three times a week, for a year.  

The legal process is so frustrating.  Every thing takes so long.  Each time it's more time without my children.  It's hard not to be jaded when you're here alone without them every stinkin night.