Walking Through the Fire

It's Sunday. I woke up early this morning but felt rested. Today I take my dog to our training class.  Then I plan to take a nap and do some cleaning.

As frustrating as this week has been it has unveiled an unexpected blessing that I can't go into. It came in the form of amazing peace over a decision that I had made and an endorsement by someone who knows me well and my situation.   What is funny is that I know this could only come from God and He provided it JUST at the right time. I was really struggling with something and to hear what I heard when I heard it was indeed a blessing. How thankful I am for that man and for my God.

I don't know what God's got planned for me.  I do know that I'm stubborn and that I am not giving up on anything: life, love, family, nothing. I fall then I get back up with God's help. I fall again then I take refuge under God's shelter. Without God's supernatural strength I would not be here today writing this blog. He has brought me through hell on earth and back to Him.  I never understood why I went through what I went through but I do know that it has produced an unearthly strength that only comes when you've walked through the fire.

God has taken what the world would have thrown away (me) and has re-made me into a woman more and more like Himself. This amazing strength has come at great price to me personally but now I know why I need it. I am well equipped to be my children's mother BECAUSE of going through that fire. Because I have bipolar disorder I am uniquely qualified to be a mother, to be THEIR mother. When past people said it was a bad thing, I beg to differ.  No one on the face of this earth is more qualified to be a mom than I am. I walked through that fire in order to be their mother. And I'm not going anywhere.