Cleaning one room at a time!

If I hear one more person tell me (regarding being overwhelmed in the cleaning arena) to just do one room per day.  Do these people have any idea of what it's like to be ME?  I'm maxed out at work, personally and in every way.  I've just lost my husband and to some extent, my life and family.  

Now I might have to move and that stresses me out.  In every way I'm being pushed and prodded until I feel like I'll break.  I won't but I'm under a great amount of stress at the moment.

I am not used to being alone and the loneliness feels like a prison.  I miss my children so bad that my heart just HURTS so incredibly bad that I can barely stand it.  

No one understands what I'm going through.  I have friends and family but even though they are awesome and loving they have not walked in my shoes and do not know.  It has been so long I should be healing and moving forward but it's so freaking hard.    I feel like I'm in limbo.  I can't go back and I'm paralyzed to go forward.  

If I were to write about my past and what has happened to me I am pretty sure that I could write a book.  Maybe I should?  I can't even write what I want on here because I KNOW him; he'll find this like he does everything.  

I am signing off and writing elsewhere for now.