I sit here, two years without a valentine of my own, instead concentrating on how to make my children have the best life possible. Concentrating on their joy. Course I wasn't allowed to see them today. Instead we will celebrate on another day but for us it won't matter. No one and nothing can come between the love of a mother and her children. If you separate us, it just makes us love even deeper.
Two hours and this day will be over. I can put my head on my pillow and this Hallmark card holiday will have passed. Tomorrow it's back to work and my life there. So thankful to have a job in these times when others do not.
Worried this week, not been trusting in the amazing power of my God. I lost site of Him for a few days and the shadow was dark and it was lonely. I am reawakening to Him and His special love for me. I'm rethinking my place on this earth and my purpose in life. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was put here on this earth to be a mom. Beyond that I cannot think as I have to take what is in front of me right now. Right now I have children who need my full attention, my full and complete love. Maybe someday there will be love for me but I am so far from that. In order to move toward love in the future I will have to let go of the love of my past and I just can't do that. Many say, move on. He isn't worth your thoughts and they would be right. Still my thoughts are sad tonight.
Be still my weary heart. My God, strengthen my heart and my will. Make me a mom who is passionate in her love for her children. Make me into a better me. Make me more like you God.
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