I'm Here

I'm here.  It's real.  It's peaceful.  I really like it here.  It's also pretty quiet.  (nice).  I'm on end unit so that could be good.

I'm also really tired so this is all I'm posting tonight.  Will write more when I feel more inspired.  Tonight is not that night.

I'm thankful.  Pray that I make it to and from work tomorrow safely.

$451.00 and a Dad!

Well, I'm moved.  Everything here except for vacuum and steam cleaner which is at old place for cleaning person to use tomorrow or Monday.  Oh my goodness you should have seen what was under my bed!  I could never move it as it is a large bed.....and when the movers did I wanted to die of embarrassment although I'm sure they've seen worse.  Two guys did a great job.  I used Two Men and a Truck.  Used them 10-12 years ago to not too good then but today's guys were great.  Plus between me and my dad watching their every move I think they paid attention.  I mean, I deal with moving claims for a living so knew what to tell them, what to do, etc.

So I'm officially moved.  I even took a nap this afternoon.  Crazy.  I slept two hours like a baby.  It was much needed as the stress of this week caught up with me.  Tomorrow I must get a lock for storage unit, and meet with cleaning lady and oh, get some more steam cleaner fluid/soap stuff.  I hope that I am able to get most of my deposit back from my place I moved but I doubt it.  Today I caught a box on fire when I put it on the stove and it hit the on knob.  Crazy.

I plan to work until I can't tonight then sleep in, get up and meet with lady, then who knows?  I was going to do something later tomorrow but I think those plans changed so if so, I'll just hang out at my new place.

Realized when I was thinking about the dollar store and I'm like; I could run up and get that...only its 30 blocks from here.  I'm going to have to go exploring my new neighborhood to REALLY see what is here.

One cat is hiding inside the bottom kitchen cabinets!  She's too scared to come out.  Very funny.

I have like 5 boxes of pancakes...not full boxes...all these half boxes....it was funny to unpack them.  My friend who helped me pack probably thought I was nutso.  We don't even eat pancakes all that often!  I must just not remember if I do or don't have a box while shopping without a list (I don't recommend) and then pick up a box.  Cheap dinner.  Add some scrambled eggs and we have happy campers here.

I hung some pictures in my kitchen.  They were the first birthday gift I got when I moved out.  Special to me.  They hang over my sink so I will see them every single day.  I like that a lot!   So will the kids.

Can't wait until the kiddos get to come here.  I am so anxious to wrap them in my arms and introduce them to their new home.  I am hoping they don't think it's dinky and the carpet (which is brown) is hideous.  I am thinking it will hide a world of dirty kids!  And I have a steam cleaner!

I just realized that I'm happy.  Really, really happy.  The last place I had to find, had to be close to school, etc. Never once felt at home there.  This place has potential.  I might even buy houseplants.  (although I tend NOT to do good at house plants).  I am watching the most beautiful sunset over to the west of here.  It is spectacular and I have a great view (and also a great view of how dirty my sliding doors are!).

A little concerned as the safety chain is up high and little one can't reach it.  Might have to have my dad or maintenance do their thing.  I need to find my light bulbs for my lamp...this place needs light in the living room.  There are no overhead lights in the whole living room.

Just happy.  So happy.  Happy that I made it here, got everything packed up (for the most part), happy that I had JUST ENOUGH money to move here.  10 days until payday.  Lord, make my dollars stretch. Please let me have just what I need to make it, buy groceries for next weekend with the kids, etc.  Lord stretch my dollars please!

Oh the $451.00 was the mover's fee!  That's not quite $10/item/box.  They did a good job and I was pleased.  It would be awesome and I had twelve friends with big trucks but I don't.   I also have a very busy family so I was just thankful dad took this morning to help me.  Then he took me to lunch and we talked about God.  It was nice.  I think the lunch was my favorite part of the day.  I love my parents both very much.  My dad understands and listens.  My mom just KNOWS me like I know mine!

Until next time...which might be later tonight, never know!

Whole Lot of Packing Going On

Packing it up, moving on up.  Or over...or up the street.  Actually downsizing....new apartment smaller than this one.  Last count was 34 boxes.  That is crazy.  Hope the movers are strong and fast as they charge by the hour with a two hour minimum plus trip charge.

Gotta get up to get kids to school then head to WalMart for more boxes. I hope they have smaller ones.  I like the ones I got there but they are huge.  I need some smaller ones to just throw last minute things in.

I'm SO TIRED.  Maxed out.  Praying that God will renew my body tonight while I sleep.  Tomorrow I get new place.....new keys.....very excited.  Cable guy coming in the afternoon to install cable.  Must remember to take TV and cable modem.

Going to go find the Alleve bottle and some cats.  I'm TIRED.  Worked hard all day packing, laundry, folding, throwing out trash, organizing, etc.  I am so sick of moving.  It's not even funny.

Now I lay me down to sleep....or in the next hour or so....going to see if I packed every book I own...

Until next time.  I might be in new place on my next blog posting!!!  Very excited.

Little Things I'm Thankful For

Tonight I am thankful for the little things.  A productive day at work.  A talk with a co-worker on a break.  A wonderful home cooked meal.  Good friends.  A sense of normalcy is returning to my life again after being gone for so very long.  Normal is good.  Normal is very nice.

Today although I knew I was going to be stressed out I just decided that I was going to do my work heartily as unto the Lord.  That my worship today was doing the best job I could with the tasks that I had in front of me.

Got to talk to the kids tonight.  That was great.  I miss them.  Just one more day and I get them overnight.  They will not be with me when I move this weekend but will instead be coming the following weekend.  That is going to be great.  I want some time to get some things unpacked and try to make things a little homey before they get there.  After moving expenses I figure I'm pretty much broke for the rest of month.  It will just be gas and food money.  NOTHING else unless emergency.

So funny that two days ago I prayed about two issues in my life and I asked God for direction on both issues and He answered in spades!  Now I have to step out in faith on one of them and trust that I am following God.   The second one God just provided for me in a tangible way and it was great and neat.

Tonight I'm thankful for furry kitties who love to hang out with me.  Yeah yeah I know not everyone likes cats but they have been SO GOOD for my heart.  To not be here alone was so nice.  They were good for the kids too.  Are good for the kids.

Tonight I am thankful for friends, from long ago who have come back into my life after we both lived some of life.  Nice to be friends again.

Thankful to have a warm bed and home to sleep in.  Thankful to have a job in this economy.  Thankful to have health insurance.  Thankful for my children.  Thankful to God for giving me all these things.

Yep, I had another happy day.  I like that I'm having more happy days than non-happy days.  This is a good trend I have going!  Thank you, God, for blessing me richly.

A Day Redeemed

Today I had the hardest day; I started out feeling defeated at work and personally.  Just struggling with doubting decisions I've made and choices.  Struggling with my inability to achieve what I need to at work.  Knowing that the stress going on in personal life is what is keeping my focus off of work and I'm off my game.  I broke down on my lunch hour and just cried and cried.  Worried over the what ifs.

This afternoon was a little better.  I felt better after getting back from lunch.  Nothing like Chinese vegetable fried rice to sooth a girl's frustrations.  (during her work day anyway!).  I actually got some things done this afternoon.

We are in the busy time at work.

I am so swamped here at home but took time to have some fun tonight too and it was just good ole fun.  The laugh your socks off kind.  It was what my heart needed: a good laugh with a friend.  Now I'm home, trying to unwind.  Glad to be back here.  Going to be even more glad to leave here this weekend.  Need to figure out what is smelling weird here.  Ever since I turned on heat it stinks in here.  Hopefully I can get it figured out or it will go away when I steam clean the carpets.

I'm calling it a night.  This evening redeemed my day.  Laughter renewed my soul.  Friendship renewed my heart.  I am at peace once again.  ahhhh

Until next time.....I remain......

So tired.

I'm so tired.  Sooo sooo sooooo tired.  I hope that I can get a good night's sleep tonight and this week.  This is going to be a long couple of weeks that I'm heading into and I need God's strength to get me through it because I know that I will not make it on my own.

Today I had to make a decision based on what was best for kids, even if not what I wanted to do.  I swallowed my pride and ask for help from their dad and he stepped up.  It was nice.  I cannot worry if this will someday be spun into why I'm unfit or this or that.  Today I just got help and it was nice.

I packed another box or so today.  I'm hoping to basically get my bedroom packed maybe tomorrow night....and just put what clothes I'm keeping out in my lowly suitcase.  I'm probably getting more boxes from multiple sources tomorrow.

Fairly sure my cat has laid in the same spot for going on 4 hours.  It's classic.

I am just WORN OUT.  Physically and mentally.  This was a great week and I'm just tired.  Realized the B12 shot they gave me is 1/3 of what I take on a DAILY BASIS and they think it will last two weeks.  I might abandon the shot thing and go back to the supplements although expensive.  They charged me a co-pay for a nurse's only appointment, didn't even see the doctor.  That did not make me happy.  And so if I go in two weeks, that's $60 which is the same amount a bottle of supplements cost and they last over a month, maybe two.  I haven't felt good since I quit taking those supplements....they are a megavitamin my neurologist recommended.

Tonight I am done.  No more packing, no more tape.  Just relaxing.   This would be the kind of night it would be great to light a fire and watch a movie with a special someone.  Now I just need a special someone.  Course doubt I'll get many takers on my 19" tv I'm borrowing from my brother.  ha.  Life was meant to be shared with others, that's all I'm saying.  I think that one of the things I miss the most is just being held in someone's arms, whether a hug or otherwise.  Just that wonderfully safe feeling when someone's arms are wrapped around you and the worries of the world seem to melt away.  I haven't had that in probably six years.  That's gonna change.

I want to have people in my "home" again, even if it is a little tiny apartment with two cats.  I'll lock up the cats if they bother people.  I want to make dinner, hang out, sit on the sofa and talk until we're too tired then say goodnight and go our separate ways.  I want to play games, hear people's stories, watch movies, invite other people's kids over for my kids.  That stuff.

One day at a time.  One moment at a time.  One breath at a time.  and so on and so forth.  God will grant the grace and peace.  I just need to ask.

Night all

Grace Falling

Big day. Worn out. God's good.  Grace fell from Heaven then landed on me then was sprinkled by joy.  God is truly good and is worthy of praise.  Worthy of MY praise.  To Him be all the glory.

Seriously can't wait to sit at the throne and sing holy holy holy is the Lord.

Until that day
I wait.  Feet on earth while mind in heaven.