Hard to Invision my Future

Most of you know that I am unashamedly a Christian.  I believe that God is good, but I'm sure that I'm not the only one that wonders why He doesn't act like we want Him too.  Okay, pick up your chin from falling open, I know.  I've just said what we've all felt over the years.  I mean, isn't the question we all want to ask is : where is God when it hurts?  Why doesn't He fix it?  I mean, we all know that He is good.  Why couldn't He change the heart of my husband?

There, I've vented.  Having said that, I do not feel any better.  I know that God cares for me.  I've seen it in the past.  Over and over again.  But I feel like in the situation that meant the most to me, He seemed noticeably absent.  I'm mad that I have lost my family.  Or the family unit we once had.  So I sit here, alone, instead of in the arms of the one I used to love.  Where did it go wrong?  Where do I go from here?  

Everyone says I'm doing good and I am, for the most part.  For some reason, Saturday nights are hard for me.  It's then that I feel the most alone.  I also know that even though you might feel like it, no one ever died from being alone.  I know that I am never alone.  It just hurts sometimes.