Months ago I had a family of my own. Now I don't. I still have my children but I do not have a husband anymore. My heart breaks because of that. Sure it wasn't a good relationship toward the end but it wasn't always like that.
Tonight I'm mourning the death of my dreams for my life and for my future. For a long time I just felt empty, without vision and without dreams for my future. Then sometime along the way slowly God began to give me new dreams. They are still being revealed but I don't have that horrible feeling every second of every day anymore. I do have it, just not as much.
Tonight my heart hurts for my loved one, my once husband. I know he is hurting and I pray for him too. Pray for those who persecute you the Bible says. I mourn the loss of our love. The beautiful love we had when we married. I mean, he was my best friend. Now I don't have that anymore.
I'm so tired. And it's a tired that I've never felt before, an all-body, heart sick, broken heart tired. Somewhere under all of this I still trust God although I don't understand His ways or His plan right now.
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