I'm not being selfish but I really want my children.  Frustrated at the way they are being raised, treated and think that it is not in their best interest.  I want them here with me.  I told X the little one had allergies and I gave her something for it.  He barely even paid attention to me.  I'm tired of being marginalized and ignored.  I'm through with him and with the way he treated me.  

Tried talking to him about this weekend, what to bring, etc.  He ignored me.  He treats me this way all the time.  He makes me feel like *&^).  I'm through with that.  

Beginning to think it is not in the kids best interest to grow up around that.  That's a big thought.  I was always perfectly okay with the idea of 50/50 and now I'm not sure.  Maybe that's just the angry part of me talking.  

How long am I to go on without my girls? How long?  I'm hopping mad tonight.