Came up for air to get clobbered again

I feel like I just came up for air, that I was feeling good, better than ever. Then I got clobbered. Not feeling so hot anymore, working on that with doctor, it seems we're always adjusting something in order to keep this breakable body of mine working. Honestly it gets discouraging. There are many times I wish that I didn't have to spend hundreds of dollars a month on meds and vitamins. But I do. What I spend on meds I could buy a new car for. That type of thing is frustrating.

Then I am doing great, get a new dog who is the best thing that I've done for myself in a long time. He's sweet, soft and has a gentle spirit. He keeps running around here bumping his head on the coffee table. He must not have any short term memory.  It's funny. When we spend time together, sometimes he plays but often he takes his cues from me and just lays with his head on my lap. Already filling his soon to be role as a therapy dog.  Bought him a bag of new rawhide treats. Poor thing needed something to EAT other than my papers!

Got the kids coming for the weekend. Looking forward to that. Need to plan meals, buy food. Plan activities. I was going to take them to a movie last time but it was PG and I thought both parties weren't doing PG, well I was wrong so guess what once again mom is the bad mom and dad is the hero. Big surprise. I'm so sick of this crap. Sick of his games and crap. Sick of him. It is amazing that I ever loved this man who has hurt me so long and so deeply. My anniversary just passed, my first one not being married and I didn't even remember! ha That shows how far I've come.

Two and a half weeks and I get to take my starter earrings out (just got my ears re-pierced). I CANNOT WAIT to buy some hot earrings.

Meanwhile I am struggling with one of my meds and the weight gain it causes. Frustrated to say the least. People have so many things to offer, I know they have good intentions but frankly if they haven't walked in my shoes they have no idea and do not know.

Tonight I just am. Not good and not bad really. Discouraged a little bit. Overwhelmed a little bit. Alone. A lot. Glad to have my furry pal. Pray for this girl as she negotiates through life.

I need more energy. I need to feel better.