Grace and Mercies for this Broken but Mending Mom

It's 7:44 as I write this and I just keep thinking, is it time for bed yet? I worked hard all day then had my children for a couple of hours. I was too tired to cook and out of food so we went out. Then came home, played with the dog and the other kids in the apartment complex. The kids are gone now and I'm sitting here with 15 minutes to myself. I should be cleaning but honestly I'm too freaking tired. If I don't regenerate myself by rest I burn out and it's not pretty.

So it's 7:44 and I rest. For a few minutes I try to decompress from my day. In a few minutes I will take out the dog for the last time, take my handful of medications for various and assorted things that I have and would rather not have, then crawl in bed.

But it's Thursday night and there's good TV on Thursdays. I just want to be awake and hang out. I wish my house was magically cleaned, my refrigerator was stocked with food, and that my dog was well behaved. So until then I rest, I work on cleaning when I can, I run to the grocery store tomorrow on my way to pick up the kids for the weekend, and as for the dog, that is a long term project.

To add to the humiliation of not feeling good my face is all broken out, the hives that turn into acne kind of break out. Not fun and probably med related. Oh the trials and frustrations of my ordinary little life.

Tonight I've decided to give myself the same kind of grace and mercies that God gives me. I need to give myself a break, be easy on myself until I'm feeling better.  I have the weekend coming up with the kids and that will leach my energy but also will refill it in a unique way.  They need me as I need them. That is the way it is between moms and their kids.  A symbiotic relationship.

So maybe I can make it until 9pm tonight. I'm kind of watching a tv show now that I want to see. I won't tell the name because I will lose all credibility here if I do!

Lesson of the day: give yourself some mercy (not getting what you do deserve) and some grace (getting something you don't deserve). If you've never experienced those mercies and grace filled moments from a relationship with God, let me tell you it will rock your world and change your life. It will give you hope beyond these broken bodies we're all walking around in.  God is the only person who can offer true hope.