Happy to be Alive

This week I'm just happy to be alive.  I have a new perspective since last week.  It was a good wake up call for me to get things more "together."  In myself and my world.

This week I actually was giddy happy.  It was nice.  I feel like myself again and it's been a very very long time since I felt like this.  Physically I'm feeling fairly good and emotionally I'm doing GREAT considering everything that is going on in my life: especially including the divorce.  Most likely the divorce will be finalized in the next month or two.

This fall is going to be a time of renewal.  I'll be moving to a new place, moving out more on my own.  Starting my life as a single person again.  A single mom.  That still blows my mind but it's my new reality so that is what I have to go through.  I've prayed and prayed for something to change before the judge calls it quits but God seems to be leading in a different direction and I am having a hard time jumping on board.  I of course want to follow Him with everything that is in me.  It is just hard to do when you're taking it one day at a time.

Fist full of bills tonight in the mail.  Paycheck was less today because of missing some work last week.  No overtime on this check.  I'm going to have to consider whether or not I'll even be able to afford cable in my new apartment.  Part of me wants to spend evenings without the television for a while.  Read books, study the Bible, enrich my life.  Take classes.  Give my time to others.  I've been sitting on this big blue sofa for way too long!!!

Look out world, here I come!  God, lead my way, help me to follow the path you are laying out for me.  Help me to trust you with my every decision.  Help me to be a good mom who teaches her children about You.  Be my companion now that I will be without a husband.

There you go.