Free to be Me

..."I'm free to be me!" states one Christian song enthusiastically.  My heart resonates with the message because for the first time in a long time I feel FREE.  I feel free to be me.  The person I am is OKAY, I do not need to change, only to become more like Christ.  I am loved by Him just the way I am, crawling with knees bleeding to the cross where I'm laying me, my sins and my past on it.  Then there's this amazing GRACE that falls upon me, washes over me like this amazing warmth, this comfort.  You know, like the feeling you have when you're HOME.  

You see, for a long time I feel like I've lived trying to change all the time, to become something or someone I'm not for someone else.  It's a horrible thing.  I will NEVER ever change for someone else.  I mean, I might but it would be because I want to or because God wants me to.  

I do want change.  I now welcome it.  I welcome God's leading of my life.  You see, I got a little lost for a few years but I'm coming back now.  It's funny - I feel like I'm discovering everything anew, like a child for the first time.  Tonight I told my oldest daughter that she was just like me and that that was a very good thing.  I feel like my self esteem is back....it went to hell in a handbag for many many years.  

Writing is so cathartic.  I know one thing tonight and I shout it out for all to hear "I'M FREE TO BE ME!"