Two Days

In two days from now it is my wedding anniversary.  It is meant to commemorate the happiest day of my life.  I have three happiest days.  The day I got married and the days each of my girls were born. 

So I sit here,  two days from d-day.  In the middle of a divorce although still legally married.  Just thinking about my anniversary causes me to tear up.  I feel an intense sadness that this marriage failed, that my husband wanted out.  

Wonder what I should get myself for my anniversary?  Maybe take myself out?  I'm going to try hard to not be pitiful that day.  I can't help myself a little though.  I miss my husband and wish that my family was still intact.  

Tonight my heart is hurting but at the same time I have peace.  I have peace that God has a bigger plan for me, one that I don't understand.  One that includes me being a single mom.  That realization tears me up.  I wanted nothing more my whole life than to grow up, be married and have children.  One man, one marriage, for life.  That is what I vowed on my wedding day.  Until death do us part.  Now some judge is going to separate what God brought together.  I can't help but wonder the everlasting ramifications of that.