Today I was happy ALL DAY. I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt happy for a whole day. The last years have been filled with hurt, resentment, and more.
Today I started my day with a nice note from a friend which made me smile right out of the gait! So thankful to have good friends. Friends with faith who tell me the truth even when it is probably hard for them to say and sometimes hard for me to hear. Isn't that the way God set up friendships? After all, in the Bible it does say "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I think we owe it to our good friends to speak the truth in love.
Then although my day was super busy, I opened three new claims, closed one or two and worked like 30 of them. I'm juggling about 50-60 claims and I literally get emails and photos faster than I can process them. It's frustrating at times. I just view it as a challenge - keep up or get out of the way!!
Lunch at new place. Mine was okay but friends was better. Might try that next time.
I cannot believe that I'm MOVING in a week. I'm really quite excited about it. I feel like I've gotten a second chance at life in so many ways, and a move and new apartment is just one of them. I plan to make this place more homey. I need to, not for me because I really don't care a lot about "stuff" but for my kids who need me to create a homelike home in this apartment. I'm going to have to break down and probably buy curtains and all that good stuff. Weird.
Tonight I had a doctor's appointment, my every three month visit. Doctor cut one of my meds in half. Just another DECREASE in meds since I've been on my own. I'm now on less than half of what I was on when I had to move here. This is good. Making progress.
Tonight I just enjoyed this wonderful feeling of peace and contentment. I uploaded a ton of photos to Facebook which took a while....since I don't have a graphics card in my phone I had to email them to myself then put them in iPhoto then upload to FB. Worth it because with each photo I got to see my little people and they made me smile. I don't get to talk to them on Wednesday because they go to church with their dad. I still call every Wednesday to tell him to tell them that I called and that I love them. I doubt the messages go through but I do tell them that I call.
Tomorrow I have to get a shot of B12 in the morning, then I might drop by my dad's office to pick up some boxes and then head to work. I'm not sure how in the world I'm going to take two days off of work next week to prepare for move. I will probably get about 300 emails in the two days. I hope this shot will help me feel better. Basically my body doesn't absorb B12 from food and drink, so I used to take supplements but were super expensive so talked to doctor about a shot (which insurance would cover) and she agreed. So tomorrow is my first shot. I'm hopeful. Other doc needs me to get blood tests on all my levels of my medicines to make sure they are at the right amount.
Honestly I cannot put in words how nice it was to feel good for the whole day: no major aches and pains, no headaches, no tension, just ..... peace......and happiness.....and taquitos! :-)
This journey started two Sundays ago when the kid's pastor at my church talked about forgiveness. One thing he said that seared into my memory is "forgiveness is the only way to make the pain stop." I seriously have thought of that statement every single day since then because I knew that I was going to have to forgive my spouse and give him back to God. So I did. In the process I was given this wonderful day, a gem, a gift from God, shared with friends.
Almost bedtime, productive day and I am sitting here, typing, SMILING. What's up with that? Seriously I used to wonder if I would ever smile again, I had gotten caught up in the pain and could not shake loose. Thank you to the one who encouraged me to do what I did. Thank you for speaking truth to me when it was probably hard for me to hear. You blessed me by encouraging me to follow God. (don't really think anyone reads this blog but a couple of girlfriends but hey, it's my tribute).
I've been given this amazing chance at life. I get a second chance. God has set me free! I am free to be who He wants me to be, who I was created to be. I am free to be open to people, new friends and relationships and just be open to whatever God's got planned. I have a sense of what He has planned but am not sure so I pray. I ask Him for wisdom to know what to do.
Tonight I give praise to God, who set the captives free. I give praise to Jesus, who, while hanging on a cross extended forgiveness to the thief next to him and said "today you will be with me in paradise." Has it sunk in what an amazing God we serve? Blows my mind and makes me humble at the same time. He gives and He takes away. We don't always understand but I love Him and trust Him enough to step out, in faith, into the unknown. Unknown to me, but God has each one of my days planned and lined out. He knows how many hairs are on my head, when I will do this and that, and when I will go to be with Him. So who am I to worry? He's got it all covered!
God, thank you for this day, for good and nice friends, and for my family. Watch over my children until I can be with them again. Guard over them while they sleep.
Until next time I remain YOURS Lord.
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