Not the day. Today was not the day for the divorce. We all though it was but it wasn't. Now we have to wait another month and a half. I'm not excited about this. I was ready TODAY. I prepared my heart to be through today. I had the talk with him TODAY.
But it was not to be. God had a different plan. Today I was just thinking about the passage in Ecclesiastes where it says there is a time for.....basically there is a time for everything under the sun. That God has our lives mapped out. I rest in that thought and those truths tonight. I trust God and know that He has this all under control.
It is hard for me to NOT worry a little bit. I have a year of alimony then it's all me. I need to make a lot more money than I do now and need to start looking for another job or another job in my field. I need to bring it to the Lord and ask Him to provide it for me. He's done that for every other thing that I've asked for in the last couple of years.
I was ready. I was ready to be done, to move on. I was ready. It was not meant to be for today. I am sitting here again going: God, what are you doing? How does this fit into your plan? Can you help me to glorify you through my disappointment? Can you help me tomorrow when I have to talk to co-workers? I want to glorify you Lord but right now I'm still frustrated, weary and just really really TIRED.
Lord I give this all to you. You are the author and perfector of my faith. Give me the courage I need to go through the next many weeks. I need your strength God. So much.
Darn cough won't go away. I'm tired of my cough!
Until next time.
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