Dog Gone Tired

It's been almost a week since I posted on here.  I think that I was just talked out, worn out, weary and just dog gone tired!

This afternoon I was driving home asking and thinking to myself: why does God have me in such a high stress job?  I mean, I used to love going to work.  Now it is just too much to do, not enough time to do it in.    The pressure to keep up is high.

I don't know what God is trying to do in my life.  I mean, I know that what is happening is His plan but even after 30 plus years of loving Him I  still do not understand how this all is His plan.  I'm feeling frustrated, a little overwhelmed and confused.

I thought that I was ready to re-enter the dating world.  I thought that I might be open to that....now I'm not so sure.  I'm lonely but that is not a reason to seek out another.  Sure I'm red blooded American girl who longs for all the same things red blooded American males long for.  It's just that I've been so deeply hurt that I'm not sure if I could ever just put down my guard and be me.  I tried doing that recently but I fear even that was a failure.  I suck at relationships.  I probably even suck at friendships.

I feel like I barely have enough energy for my kids.  Add some pets to that, a new apartment, and a stressful job I have nothing to offer anyone.  I am just making it day to day.

So I am not sure about the male species.  I think that I should probably just be for a while.  Just me, myself and I.  I want someone to pursue ME.  I do not want to sign up on a lame dating site to make friends who might have the potential to turn into dates.  Been there, done that.  I'm not sure I want to do it again.  I think that God is capable of bringing someone into my life or maybe He already has.  I just need to be open to it all.

Tonight I worry not.  I plan to just lay on my pillow, be a vegetable and watch tv.  I'm just so tired.

Until next time,