Another day. It wasn't too bad. I worked hard all day, then went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving then came home and talked to my kiddos. One barely wanted to give me the time of day. The other gave me a minute or two. I'm learning not to take it personally. It's hard 'cuz the highlight of my day is 7:00 when I call them.
On a silly note I like my new grocery store. The prices are good. I got a TON of food for not that much money. If I can get myself organized and into clipping coupons I could probably really save some cash.
I was a little sleepy this morning but overall I had a whole day of feeling good. I didn't have masses of stress. Makes me think that once this divorce is over my stress might go down to barely noticeable. Wouldn't that be GREAT?
My life is simple. Right now it is about doing what is in front of me with dignity, with faith. Being faithful in the little things that God has given me. The light of my life is my children. They bring me so much joy; I love them like crazy! I pray that God will bring them back here for more time with me. I need them as they need me. I am going to start praying for it. I have been blown away at the amazing things God has done in my life in the last few years...and over my lifetime. So why not ask Him for what I want? "You do not have because you do not ask." I just realized that I haven't been consistently praying for their return. I shall begin right now.
I am basically happy. I'm content with a small apartment and few "things" - to me, things are not what make life meaningful. My faith in God and my relationships with my children and other family and friends are what bring meaning to my life.
I had hoped to get more clean tonight but I ran out of energy. And you know what? IT'S OKAY. I do not have to live up to anyone's expectations of me. I no longer have to live up to my spouse's expectations of who I should be or how I should act and I want to say that IT FEELS HEAVENLY just being me. I like me. There is nothing wrong with me. Sure, I'm imperfect but I was made in God's image. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. THAT is how I feel about it!
I am done worrying about my job. I do my best each and every day and that is all I can do. If it is not enough then God will provide another option for me.
The thought of living in this apartment for the next five years until I can buy a home doesn't exactly thrill me but it might be my reality. I will do it one day at a time just like I Have the last few years.
No comments:
Post a Comment