Addendum: or Can I have a New Job, Move and a Divorce please?

I'm just tired.  I want a little peace in my life.  Right after I found out today that my job might be changing (highly stressful I might add), I get a comment to the last post that came from left field.

I started this blog and have like 10 people who know about it.  I know who they all are.  Sure, it might have some random viewers but for the most part I've kept it small so that I could remain anonymous.  I've needed this blog as a safe place to write about all the things that I've gone through over the last two years specifically and more broader, about the last 5 or more years.  This blog is an outlet, a way for me to think through my feelings, process them, and move on.

My intention was never to hurt anyone's feelings.

I work in a job where people basically see me as the enemy all day long.  I'm in the middle/end of a very long and very very stressful marriage and divorce.  It has drained the very life from me at times.  So I have one place where I go to let it all hang out.  Here.  This blog.  Someday I plan to write a book about it all but for now it's just a blog.

If I even get an inkling that I am being treated in the same way that I was by the man I was married to, I will not be silent.  No, I don't broadcast every intimate detail of my life on here or my friends.  That would be a breach of trust.

I'm still going to post.  I'm going to be me.  I'm just an ordinary girl.  I do have a deep faith.  Do I live it out perfectly?  Absolutely not.  Am I the perfect mother?  Not a chance.  Is my heart pure?  You bet.  I have the best of intentions.  So if you have something to say to me and you have my email and I know that you do, please talk to me.

I am beyond tired and weary and broken.  I'm just a regular girl.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and it gets me into trouble a LOT.  That's the way God made me.  He made me passionate.  That is a blessing and a curse.  I can be passionately loving and passionately hating sometimes.  I'm so not perfect.  I'm just an average girl whose heart's desire is to be a good mom, employee, and friend.

I long for the same things everyone does: to have friends they can trust.  To love and be loved.  To be accepted for WHO YOU ARE (now) not who people want you to be.  To just be treated with respect.    That's all I really want.

So if you're the party that I hurt, I hope that you will brave contact with me again so that we can work through this.  Perhaps with some more information you might understand why I reacted the way that I did.  I think perhaps there is more to this story that you don't know but you probably should.

I'm just a girl.  I'm maxed out in the stress arena: just moved, have to move more stuff again next month, now I might have to start a new job, every thing I do is new.  I couldn't find a gas station on my way to work the other day.  I have a new grocery store.  I need to find a pharmacy that's close.  My job is freaking me out and I am not doing well at it at the moment and I used to rule the job.  Oh yeah, and in the middle of this my marriage is going to be legally over.  I've had two people in my life die in the last two weeks. So you might consider cutting me a little slack.

With that I am going to log off.  I need a vacation.  Or a really long nap.