God is moving. He is leading and it's exciting! Tonight I feel good. Inside and out. I feel whole for the first time in forever. I know "whole" sounds all therapy-ish but it's really how I feel. For years I felt fractured into little pieces, broken inside and out. God has taken me from broken to whole in just two short but long years!
It seems like now things that were once overwhelming are easier than they used to be. I'm stronger inside - stronger than I ever was and it took great adversity to make me strong. It's brought about proven character and proven character has brought about HOPE. With a capital H.
I tell people that God is good a lot and I know that if you're hurting that may not be how you feel about Him. Sometimes when you're hurting you feel like He should be doing something different than He is. What is amazing is that He knew each day of your life before you even took your first breath. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He knows when one of His sparrows falls from the sky. How great is His love toward us. Toward us even when we were sinners, He sent His very own son to die for our sins. For us. Took our place. That still amazes me and I've been a Christian for quite some time now.
God uses people who show up. People who want to be used. I very much want to be used of God. Right now my mission field is equipping my children to live with their dad. I know that sounds funny if you don't know my history but it's necessary. I'm equipping them with good self esteems so when they go to school they will know what God thinks about them and how much they are loved by their mom.
Humbled tonight to talk with my family, far away as they were. Miss them a lot and wish they were closer. Good thing I have unlimited minutes.
Tonight I marvel at the goodness and graciousness of my Heavenly Father. He truly is all I need. He is the breathe and life of me, He is my hope and my tomorrow. He is my yesterday and forever. He's been there with me through some of the darkest times that I've ever been through. Times that would have crushed my spirit before now do not. God has rebuilt me, He's infused me with courage and is using me in the lives of my children. It's cool.
I must put down the computer. I need to go read some Psalms and be uplifted.
Night!
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