Can I have another chance at love

Good hectic morning at work then we had power outages this afternoon which they let us go home.  I just hope they pay for it.  Better.

Had a fun afternoon; surprised a friend where he works, got to meet/re-meet his family.  Very nice people.

Then it was racing home to get milk and eggs on the way home..then picking up kids and making dinner despite yelling and just unruly behavior.  After dinner I decided to make brownie/cookie things that we picked out at the store the other day.  They smell good.  Started them so late the kids can't have them until tomorrow in their lunches....which is a good thing.

I am hanging out, surfing the net on my OWN internet connection and it RULES.  I'm head over heels for my internet access.  Ha

Tonight I am thankful for the friends I have, the family who supports me, the possibility of hope and a future.  I am thankful that God has given me dreams and hopefully someday He will bring them to completion.  They involve a home, a yard with beautiful roses and flowers.  A home full of love and kids.  A home where my husband and I are crazy for each other and committed to each other forever.  FOREVER.  I want a marriage that sticks, one where both parties know that divorce is not an option, ever.

I dream of a home where love abides.  Where children play.  Where there is giggling by both little people and big people.  Where we live together all together, as one.  Where this husband of mine and I are one.  One in dreams, one in spirit, one in body.

I feel like I've been jipped.  I signed on for life and got a few years.  That is unfair.  It was not what I dreamed my whole life for.  I dreamed of being treated with kindness but instead was treated unkindly.  I dreamed of being cherished but instead was treated with disdain.  I dreamed of a house full of kids and that was cut short.

Bottom line my dreams were cut short.  I sit here, starting over.  Choosing to not live in bitterness.  Choosing to live instead for my Lord.  For my children.  For them I get out of bed when my body feels like I am dying and work with mean people all day long.  For them I will do anything.  And do.

I just want another chance at love.