Being in the middle of a divorce while a Christian is a lot like being a leper back when leprosy required that you totally isolate yourself away from people. You don't fit into any group, you're not the young married, you're not the old married, you're not single and you're not divorced. You are forever in limbo.
Have I told you how much I hate being in limbo? I want to be finally free. Free to start my life over. Living in limbo has eaten at my soul.
I want to date and have it be okay. I want to meet some amazing man someday, grow in love with each other and get married. That would be great. But instead we have the equivalency of spiritual leprosy. Even though I did not want this divorce it often does not matter 'cuz in a lot of Christian circles they are closed minded and do not know the whole "picture" in my case.
So I am in limbo. I have another friend who is also in limbo. Apparently it is okay we hang out. I haven't heard about it from anyone about him yet. But we're not dating. Just friends. Friends in limbo. FIL. That is my new motto that I think that I'm going to have stamped on my forehead! Friends in limbo.
What's funny must be what God is thinking as I write this. Like any patient parent He is probably watching me spin my wheels, getting impatient when He has His own plans for my life which are on HIS timetable, not mine. He might not ever bring me someone to love. Will I still love Him then? Of course. Will it be easy? Not in a million years. Will I do that if that is what God calls me to? A hundred million times yes.
So here's to my friends in limbo out there. Lets join hands in solidarity of our situation, thank the Lord we at least have each other to lean on and go from there!
Those are my ramblings for tonight. Until next time.....I remain.....loved by God.
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