My God Will Supply ALL My Needs

I had an okay day today.  This morning my stress was high but once I got into my zone I actually got a lot done.  I closed three claims today and opened three, almost four today.  I managed to NOT make my angriest military member angrier today which is a definite bonus as he already went to my boss.  (not good...boss was nice about it...only person I've ever had to talk to him about.).  Boss said he knew about it for two days before I even brought it to him!  I'm not sure that is good or bad.  I know he trusts my judgement.  Still it was humiliating to admit that I've screwed up with a member.  Oh well I think it just shows that I'm human.  Given my level of stress last week it's amazing I didn't tell that guy (not my boss, the other guy) where to go because I SO WANTED TO.

Today I was both excited about my new life and sad about my old life.  I wonder, will I ever quit being sad about old life and fully immerse myself into new life?  When will I let myself be happy, take myself off the hook, quit blaming myself even a little bit?   This, like taking off my wedding ring is a decision that I get to make.  I can decide it's time.  So what is that so darn scary?  Because it's new territory.  I've lived looking back for two years and now I want to look forward to my new life.  I so hope that my new life includes love.  I long to love and be loved.  To be cherished and to cherish another.  To have that once in a lifetime connection happen....again.  So a twice in a lifetime connection maybe.  ha.

The bottom line is that I have been blessed beyond measure in my life.  My God has supplied for my every need and still continues to supply my every need.  When the stress of life creeps up on me, I need to remember that it's God who is running this show.  When I wonder how I can manage to arrange and pay for upcoming things I need to remember that my God knows the name of every star He created and decorated the night sky with.  That He knows each and every side hair on my head.  This Creator can manage to help me through the next month of my pitiful and very small life.

My God will supply all my needs.  I need reminding of that tonight.  Even if those needs include love.  He too can supply that for me in His own timing.  (hurry up Lord! )

I feel completely inadequate to live up to my responsibilities sometimes.  The weight of being a single mom is weighing heavily on my heart tonight.  My heart is also heavy for a friend who is struggling through a divorce.  Sometimes to be a friend you just have to listen and listen and listen.  I plan to listen until he feels better.  However long that takes.  I've had people do it for me.....so now it is my turn to do for others.